Well, I think I hit that hard part of my mission finally. The past few weeks have been really hard for me for some reason, and it’s required a bit of faith (a ton actually). For some reason I got really.... I don’t even know the word, but in Spanish its desanimado [Spanish translation: downhearted, despondent, discouraged, dejected]. I don’t know why. So that kinda messed me up a little. I was thinking that I have to be perfect, and realizing that I never will be I just lost the desire to even try. I just felt that it’s so hard to do the right thing all the time, and the thing is, it’s true. But thankfully, we aren’t supposed to be perfect. We just have to give it our best effort, and then the Lord will fill in the rest. That’s why he died for us. I remember reading something about grace, and I think I’ve written a little bit about this before but I’m doing it again... so bear with me. Anyways, I remember reading somewhere that Christ paid for all of our sins. He didn’t pay for 70 percent and we have to make up the rest. He paid for it all. That is His grace. So we aren’t making it up or paying our part. We can’t. It’s impossible. The only thing He asks of us, is that we try our best.
I have a relatively new area, with a new companion. And I mean new. I’m training him, and my companion has a total of three weeks in his whole mission. 2 weeks in the MTC and I think 6 total days here in the field now. He doesn’t have much to say, and I have a lot to say, I just can’t say it very well in Spanish. I don’t really know exactly how I can help this new elder (he’s from Peru and I still don’t know how to spell his name right, let alone pronounce it), Elder Sequieros, become a good missionary and fulfill his purpose. I know my teaching isn’t really that good, and I know I don’t know exactly how to do everything, but I’m just going to give it my all and put my faith in the Lord that He will fill in for the things that I can’t do. I have faith that even though my comp and I don’t have much experience, we will have success in our area. (ha ha i just started typing in Spanish.) I have faith that even though our lessons aren’t that good, the spirit will testify to the people that what we are saying is true. I also need to remember that our message will bless these people’s lives and that it’s a message of joy. I need to have the desire to bless their lives, which means I need to share the message and have joy while I’m doing it! How can I share a message of joy when I’m not happy? So I’m going to keep that in mind more often.
I also read something I liked in Preach My Gospel. I often times think that no one here wants to listen to us and that they won't accept the gospel. I look at people and sometimes the thought to talk to them pops in my head. But often times I don’t, sadly, because they look scary and I don’t think they will listen to us or accept the message. Number one, like I said before, I have to keep in mind that the message we have will bless their lives, and have a desire to bless their lives through sharing it. And two, like it says in Preach My Gospel, I have to remember and have faith in the converting power of the gospel. I have little faith sometimes, and that’s something I need to change.
I know this is the true gospel and I know it can change people and bless their lives so I’m going to try and have a little more faith in that this week and remember that the Lord will help us in our weakness. I know that this is the true church, and I’m so glad I have the opportunity to be here and share the gospel. I know that the prophets and apostles are inspired men of God and that the scriptures are the word of God. I was reading in Nephi the other day, and I was just thinking, he really was a faithful guy. I’m going to try to have faith like Nephi to do all that the Lord has commanded, and have faith that He has prepared a way to fulfill it. I know that the Lord has commanded that the gospel be shared and I know he has prepared a way to do it. I know that the Lord will help us through His grace, when we put our faith in Him and try our best in all things. So that’s what I’m going to do this week, have a little more faith in all things. I think it will be a good week! Love you all!